Anne

During summer 2017, the year after we got married, my husband Ron and I went to Hong Kong and then Australia for around a month. It was there I began to notice things were not quite right.

When we got home, he was fine for a while. Then at Christmas that year, he said he couldn’t write someone’s name in a Christmas card.

We did a couple of coach trips and it was just really uncomfortable for him, you could tell he was just so unhappy and panicky but then happy on the way home. By the time of the second trip, I knew something was getting really quite wrong.

Ron’s mum had Alzheimer’s and it was his lifelong fear that he might get it too. Sadly, it came true. He must have been terrified, he didn’t want to go anywhere and I had to do everything for him. He broke ornaments when dusting, he couldn’t mow the grass in a straight line – more of these little things were happening as the disease was progressing.

It took me around six months to persuade Ron to see a doctor. Being diagnosed is quite a long process, he had around six months of tests – blood tests, heart tests and an MRI scan. It took over two years from when I first noticed something was wrong to Ron being fully diagnosed with Alzheimer’s by a consultant.

HOW WILLOW WOOD SUPPORTED ME AND RON

I was always looking for things for Ron to do and, in 2020, I came across the Dementia Cafe at Willow Wood. We came every week that we could. To me, it was so important for Ron to get out and use his brain.

We met amazing friends at Willow Wood, who I am still friends with now and always will be – people who are in the same seat but in different boats at different stages of the disease.

Ron’s Alzheimer’s affected his sight, balance and coordination, but he really tried hard not to let it stop him doing things.

Nicola and Wendy from Willow Wood’s Dementia team were a huge support to us, visiting Ron at home regularly. They helped him to understand and cope with his illness and supported me in his care.

It was Nicola and Wendy who referred Ron to the Hospice’s Therapy service, which supported him with functional tasks at home, such as ways to get in and out of the car so he could access day care and Willow Wood, mobility around the house and getting dressed. Rebecca visited us a few times and was a great support.

The Hospice now runs a Dementia Carers Support Group and an After Dementia Café, both of which I would highly recommend to people, no matter what stage of the journey you are at. The worst thing you can do for yourself and the person you care for is not to come to some of these amazing support groups because you are lost without it.

HOW RON’S ILLNESS DETERIORATED

In April 2023 I noticed physical and mental differences. Ron’s health was deteriorating.

Ron received so much care and support from many healthcare organisations, including Willow Wood, but passed on 21st November 2023 at our home in Dukinfield, which is what he wanted, with his family around him. He was 76 years old. Nicola and Wendy from Willow Wood both came to see him at home before he passed.

We came to the Hospice throughout the journey. As well as the Dementia Cafe, we attended fundraising events and I signed up to the Lottery. We donated some of the collection money from Ron’s funeral to the Hospice. The Dementia team are still a great support to me, Nicola and Wendy are amazing.

I am also having a Memory Stone to sit in the fountain at the Hospice in memory of Ron.

HOW TO ACCESS OUR SERVICES

Willow Wood’s Dementia services can be accessed through a GP or another healthcare professional via our website www.willowwood.org.uk or by calling 0161 330 1100. Patients and carers can also self-refer by speaking directly to a member of the Dementia team at the Hospice.

Our Dementia team cares for adults aged 18 years and over and who have been diagnosed with advanced dementia, regardless of their gender, disability, race, religion, sexual orientation or diagnosis. We are proud to be recognised as a ‘Homeless Friendly’ hospice.