Lindsay

The Patchett family have supported Willow Wood long before they needed the Hospice’s vital services.

Lindsay Patchett’s uncle Harry received end-of-life care last year and, just a few months later, so did her husband Andy.

So, when Andy was diagnosed with an incurable disease, visiting the Hospice to see the facilities and meet the team who would care for him in his final days felt natural.

With so much uncertainty, it was important for Andy to know what to expect in his last weeks. After their visit, they felt comfortable and knew they could focus on living rather than worrying about the end.

Andy, who was a joiner, was injured in an accident at work when a ladder broke. As he was leaving hospital, a nurse observed that one of his pupils was bigger than the other and sent him for a scan.

One scan led to another and Andy was soon diagnosed with a brain tumour in July 2022 – just weeks before they were due to go on a family holiday to Florida.

“Andy and I couldn’t go but by the time my son, my daughter-in-law and my granddaughter Alice returned, we’d had the results that Andy had a glioblastoma which was incurable and he had around 14 months to live,” said Lindsay, 62, from Dukinfield.

“Once things settled down and he’d had radiotherapy, I spoke to him about where he would perhaps like the end to be, because we didn’t know how it was going to progress.

“I came to Willow Wood to buy something and asked at Reception if I could speak to someone. Mandy was available – she actually used to go to school with Andy and remembered him. She was wonderful and showed us around.

“Like lots of people I imagine, we thought a hospice was for end-of-life care. We didn’t realise what it was like and all of the services that are available.

“Andy came to the men’s group and sometimes found it a bit overwhelming but the chaplain was there who he could chat to. I could see the difference in Andy when I came to pick him up, he looked brighter.

“We both had the complementary therapies too. I didn’t think Reiki would be my cup of tea but we loved it, it was like an hour of peace where we could escape from it all.

“I started counselling with Beth from the Family Support team as I struggled more because we were losing our future, we hadn’t retired and had plans to tour America. She was such a great support.

“As Andy’s illness progressed, our doctor contacted the NHS specialist palliative care nurses who are based at the Hospice. It was like a weight was lifted from our shoulders. They were amazing, such lovely people, who came into our home and it didn’t feel like they were intruding.

“Nicola and Beth, from the occupational therapy team, came and they were amazing too. Andy was 6ft 4in so it was difficult to move him, so the things they showed me made life so much easier.”

In November 2023, when Andy was admitted to the Inpatient Unit, Lindsay said it was “like coming home” and her whole family was “surrounded by love”.

She explained: “The nurses were so supportive in helping me liaise with social workers as Andy found it difficult to take information in. One day, Mandy came to see if me and my sister wanted to do a wreath making class. We said yes and had a wonderful afternoon, it was just joyous.

“The staff knew I was upset but they pitched it just right to help me come away from Andy’s bed and let him rest but also give me some respite.

“I don’t think we will ever be able to thank them enough. My heart is just filled with love when I think about Willow Wood. It’s not just where you come to die, there are things that can help you beforehand which I think people would get more comfort from.”

Eighteen months after he was first diagnosed, Andy died at the Hospice on 6th December 2023 at the age of 63.

“He knew he wanted to be at Willow Wood and I promised him that he would be there,” said Lindsay. “He was frightened to go home because he felt safe at the Hospice and so did we.

“We were there for five weeks and they looked after us so amazingly. When Andy died, we asked for donations to be made to Willow Wood because it costs so much to look after somebody and we appreciate that. There are genuine caring people who work there. My sons said they knew they could leave their dad and he would get the same care as when they were sat next to him.”

Our Willow Wood team have also supported Lindsay’s wider family – including her eight-year-old granddaughter Alice.

“When we knew Andy was going to die, I wanted her to remember the Hospice as a happy place,” Lindsay reflected. “We walk around the gardens, she loves the sundial and the wind chime.

“Alice had children’s counselling sessions before and after Andy died – she looked forward to coming to spend time with Callie. The things they spoke about made it better for her, without being able to take that sadness away. She still loves coming to Willow Wood, Andy dying here never tainted her experience.”

Lindsay says she will be “forever grateful” for the difference Willow Wood has made during difficult times for her family and, after she retires, she intends to volunteer at the Hospice.

She still supports fundraising events and receives counselling from our Family Support team, while Andy has a Memory Stone in the fountain in the Hospice gardens – which was the beautiful setting for our recent Butterfly Memory Release.

Lindsay and her close family attended on what was a very emotional day for them all as they dedicated a butterfly to Andy.

“When the choir started to sing, the butterflies were released. Our butterfly flew towards the flowers around the fountain. Alice absolutely loved seeing the butterflies and has since seen her Grumps’ butterfly near to home.”

Lindsay says she still feels “very passionate” about Willow Wood and hopes, with the continued support of the local community, it can help many more families like hers.

“We are so lucky to have Willow Wood on our doorstep in Tameside,” she said. “I just hope people keep supporting it because the services are free and the benefits you get are huge – even a half an hour or an hour session can make such a difference. It’s so important that it stays open.

“With regards to Andy’s illness, it was a shock and I still feel like our future has been robbed. But I think with our experience of Willow Wood all through his journey, it just made it so much easier.”