‘It’s a bit of a release when I come to Willow Wood Hospice’

After receiving heartbreaking news that her bone cancer is incurable, Tristessa Sedgwick underwent chemotherapy that made her so ill that she felt like she was on the brink of dying.

One phone call to Willow Wood Hospice, however, helped change her outlook.

“A friend of [my husband] Andrew’s came to know Willow Wood when his mum came to the Hospice and suggested we had a look around and get to know the team,” explained the 58-year-old.

“Soon after my chemotherapy, when I was not in a good place, I called the Hospice. Julie from the Wellbeing team asked if it would help if I came in to talk to her whenever it suited me. I said it would – I came in that afternoon and Julie listened to me for two hours over a cup of tea.

“The difference I felt just talking through my emotions was phenomenal. I told Julie I could not thank her enough.”

It wasn’t just the conversation with Julie in late August 2024 that helped put Tristessa at ease, it was the environment of the Hospice – which she quickly learned was not just ‘a place to come right at the end’.

“It’s very calm and peaceful,” Tristessa stated. “You come in and feel like you’re taking a big, deep breath because you can let go and just relax a bit. It’s like a bit of a release, a hug. It feels very reassuring when you come in.

“I’ve said categorically to Julie, my GP and everybody that the Hospice is where I want to come at the end. I want it to feel like an extension of home, not somewhere that feels scary.”

As she came to terms with her diagnosis, Tristessa enjoyed attending the Be Active sessions on Wednesdays at the Hospice.

“Even though we haven’t all got the same issues and problems, fundamentally we’ve got a similar diagnosis so you feel like you can relate with other people.

“What struck me from the first session was I expected everyone to be elderly but there were people of mixed ages, which made me realise I wasn’t alone and I couldn’t feel too hard done by.”

‘We concentrate on a patient’s individual wellbeing’

Julie Moran, the Hospice’s Wellbeing Team Leader, explains how Tristessa and others are supported by our Wellbeing service.

“At Willow Wood Hospice, we focus on a patient’s individual wellbeing. Our role is to offer a holistic programme of care that supports the patient, their families and carers.

“It is paramount that we are there to help Tristessa and others to carry on their lives, knowing that if they need us, they can call us or drop in. We take pride in supporting local people and are frequently humbled by their bravery and resilience.

“When I reflect on my work, I feel extremely privileged in my role as Wellbeing Team Leader to support Tristessa along her palliative journey – the true hero being Tristessa, who has faced her incurable illness with such courage and dignity.”

As a keen gardener, Tristessa has also been comforted by the serenity of our beautiful gardens.

“When I first came in, Julie encouraged my husband and I to look in the gardens. For me, it was that tranquility that struck me,” she noted.

“I did a mindfulness walk in the gardens for my first Be Active session and met head gardener Sophie, who I had a nice talk with – she even offered to give me some tips for my garden!”

The array of vital services that the Hospice provides has been beneficial to those closest to Tristessa too.

“My diagnosis doesn’t just affect me, it has a knock-on effect on my family,” she told us.

“I’m very close to my three sisters. We started coming together to the Coffee Mornings at the Hospice – it’s something nice to do and it was good so they became familiar with Willow Wood too.

“I’ve been having counselling with Sarah which has been great, and two of my sisters are going to use it as well. They want to get involved and see somebody.”

Sarah Ellenbogen, Senior Family Support Counsellor, explained: “Tris gave me permission to share this small part of the work we’ve done together. In our sessions, we’ve explored how her cancer diagnosis started to define her, dominating conversations and routines.

“By offering Tris space to reflect, she was able to separate herself from her cancer — she was still the person she’s always been. We spoke about losing her agency, and how making small plans, like meeting a friend or getting her hair done, helped her take back some control. Planning, something central to her work as a designer, felt significant.

“Together, we also explored what the future might look like — recognising it still existed, even if different than before. By planning the time she has left, she felt able to have important conversations with loved ones and helped her imagine what life might look like after she was gone. This felt like acceptance.”

‘You don’t realise how vital hospices are until you’re here’

Tristessa’s sisters Scarlett, Saffron and Tiffany grew up in Saddleworth but live in different parts of the region now, so they started getting together at our monthly Coffee Mornings in September 2024.

“The Coffee Mornings are very welcoming and the volunteers make it fun and light-hearted, yet there is still time for us to have a coffee and a talk,” said Saffron. “It’s hard for us to come together in one room so it’s an opportunity for us to have a catch-up face to face.”

Scarlett, who is looking to access our Counselling service, has already seen the impact hospices like Willow Wood have and was surprised to learn how they are funded.

“At Willow Wood they support the patient and the patient’s family,” she explained. “I feel certainly that I could phone the Hospice at any time. Sometimes you want to speak to someone who understands but isn’t a close family member or friend.

“The focus is very much on patient wellbeing as opposed to making something better because, in a lot of situations, you can’t make it better. That’s what has really opened my eyes about hospices. The community spirit of hospices is very supportive to individuals and also their families.

“I thought hospices were attached to hospitals, I didn’t realise they are largely self-funded. I think if people did realise this, they would be horrified and would want to support more because most people will find themselves needing a hospice at some stage in their life.”

Saffron added: “Unless you become involved, you just think of a hospice as helping people in the very last few days of someone’s life. You don’t realise how vital hospices are until you’re here and that has to change.”

Tiffany has certainly noticed a positive difference in Tristessa since the Hospice has supported her.

“Coming to Willow Wood has really helped lift her back up rather than pushing her down.”

‘My workplace has been phenomenal’

Tristessa’s illness has led to a period of absence from her job as a sales manager at a fabric manufacturer in West Yorkshire, however the unwavering support of her employer Mobus Fabrics has meant work has been one less thing to worry about.

“I’ve not been well enough to work but my workplace has been phenomenal. They know my situation at home and have been super supportive.

“I was talking about resigning and they wouldn’t hear of it – they still see me as part of the team. I’ve worked with them for 10 years and knew them well before I joined. I imagine not every employer is like that, so I’m lucky.”

Such is how much the company value her, 13 members of the Mobus team took on the Yorkshire Three Peaks Challenge in April to support Tristessa and to raise funds for Willow Wood Hospice.

They set themselves a target of £10,000 and raised 80 per cent of that total in less than a week, so they increased their target and have raised over £20,000 – an incredible amount!

“Tris is more than just a colleague to us – she is family,” said Managing Director Lee Paxman. “She has been part of our team for many years, and now, as this amazingly strong woman faces an incredibly difficult journey with incurable bone cancer, we want to do something to show our love and continued support.

“The walk was not just a challenge – it was a tribute to Tris and a way to give back to Willow Wood Hospice, the place that is bringing her peace, comfort and care when she needs it the most.”

In honour of Tris, UK Fabric Shows also donated £5,000 to Willow Wood and would like to support the Hospice as their adopted Charity of the Year.

Focusing on quality of life

Tristessa was first diagnosed with scleroderma in 2013 – a condition similar to arthritis but affecting connective tissue rather than joints.

A CT scan eventually revealed something far more serious – cancer in her lungs, which then spread to her bones.

“Once I heard it had spread to my bones, I thought this is terminal,” she said.

Tristessa was referred to the Christie for chemotherapy over the summer, but the treatment left her extremely ill.

“My husband and I decided I couldn’t have any more chemotherapy, it was giving me no quality of life.”

With the support of her consultant, Tristessa chose to focus on quality of life.

Tristessa has been able to resume one of her favourite activities: walking her miniature Schnauzer, Bob, around Mossley, where she lives. Walking became her way of staying mobile after her diagnosis.

“Everything I’ve been through makes you realise it’s those small pleasures in life that are the most important things,” she said.

“It’s just one day at a time. The network I have around me has helped me psychologically as well as physically. I feel lucky that I’ve got this window of life, however long, and some people don’t get that.”

Tristessa has visited the Hospice for her Be Active sessions and continues to receive support from our Counselling team. For more information about the Hospice’s services, visit www.willowwood.org.uk